LOL I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS SITUATION BUT IM GONNA TAKE A POST ABOUT WORKER’S RIGHTS AND USE IT SHOW MY IGNORANCE ABOUT BDSM. I HAVE A TUMBLR, HEAR MY STUPIDITY ROAR! Thank fuck someone with a brain thought to respond to these dumbfucks, not that they’ll understand it I’m sure.
There are several areas Kink.com has failed to live up to their self-purported standards. Now is the time for solidarity to show that we, as sex workers, performers, and viewers, actually believe in fair pay, equal representation, and respectful depiction of all sexual communities, and don’t want these values twisted into shallow marketing schemes to push profits.
Are these people for real? Solidarity from viewers? Bwahahahahahaha
This is a site that profits from sexual violence against women. This is a site where the viewers pay specifically to see women mistreated.
Why do they think that the viewers who pay specifically to see sexual violence against women are actually going to give a shit about women?
Kink dot com is a disgusting blight on the face of the planet and I would be so happy if all of the BDSM sexual violence bullshit could just stop now, kthnx.
I love their appropriation of terms of struggle, like solidarity, to defend a sadomasochism website - how edgy and revolutionary! “b-b-but nailing women’s breasts to boards is my freedom of speech and an expression of my sexuality”
So, right off the bat your arguments totally and completely strip any and all power away from women participating in BDSM activities by putting them in a position where the men who are topping them are in complete control and the bottom has no will-power, consent, engagement or word in what is happening to them. It also supports patriarchy by stripping a woman’s sexual identity away from her and telling her her desires come purely from a place of needing a man to abuse her. Some people literally derive sexual pleasure from sensory experiences - whether they be forceful : choking, spanking, whipping, open-mouth gag, caging or passive - putting on a blindfold, ball gag or blocking sound. I am one of those people and I feel nothing but beautiful and empowered by what I have done to me or what I do to others in the bedroom.
The truth is that bottoms have all the power in a D/s relationship, Before any scene they decide of their own free will to give over their bodies and minds to their Dom, someone they trust and desire. They use safe words to set boundaries, end scenes and call off their dom and before-hand discussions to talk about their expectations from a scene and their hard/soft limits. The dom is expected and required to operate within these perimeters or else they’re committing a real crime. No matter how far engaged in a sexual act you are “stop” always means “stop” and anything past that is assault or rape. In a webcam show the model can stop or shut down a scene they deem too far or too uncomfortable.
I am a feminist who also operates within the realms of BDSM in the bedroom, it is not my lifestyle but it is a part of my identity. To say that BDSM is about “sexual violence” is ignorant and lazy. Many people who operate within the community are empowered by their freedom of sexual expression, their trust in their partner, their exploration of their sexual desires and explorations of what links to deeper psychological notes they might never explore otherwise - which, often times, have nothing to do with abuse or violence and everything to do with things people deal with daily. It is hard for people who practice “vanilla” sex to understand this side of sex and sexuality but it is true. People who participate in healthy, respectful, consensual BDSM relationships are just as loved, empowered, supported, engaged and respected by their partner(s) as those with “typical” sexual identities. To say otherwise dis-empowers and shames people away from sexual freedom and exploration because they do not fit under your definition of love and sexuality.
There is a difference between violence and consensual BDSM activity and if you had half a brain you’d realize this and work to ensure shame and tongue wagging were out of your system before failing to properly broach the subject. I fight against violence in the community and there are Dominant people who are disrespectful but if we do not take their power away and call them out on their bullshit we’re only perpetuating stereotypes and poor BDSM practices.
Sex workers are stereotyped and abused the world over and deserve to use terms of struggle. If you were a feminist in any sense you’d understand this and it’d be at the top of your mind. The reason is because sex workers (people who willingly perform sexual acts for money) are seen as less than by society. They are selling their PURITY and SACRED SEXUALITY for money, those horrible whores! They must also fight against oppression, shame, guilt and abuse. It is so easy for sex workers to have to operate in an abusive system because people like you only see their work as oppressive and shameful. Prostitutes (of varying age, ethnicity and gender) who have been forced to work the streets by pimps are treated as criminals, not victims for the same reason. It is sad that the same people who decry sex workers will do nothing to help those who are exploited through trafficking and forced sex work - to end abuse, trafficking and criminal sentences - so that those who want to do sex work are allowed to do so in a safe environment.
Posted on Monday, 11 June 2012